I was given the honor this past week to give the Makenzie Stocker scholarship to a freaking awesome girl named Emily Rosenhagen. However, when I think back about giving the speech now there is so much more I could have added to it. I guess it was good the way it was though. I suppose if I had added more people might have gotten bored or restless. It wasn’t a Makenzie banquet after all. It just had a Makenzie part to it. I would have loved to go back and emphasis the importance of friendship and not taking it for granted. If I go back and just think about Makenzie I am not sad at all. I just think of memories with her and I am fine. However, if I go back to the moment of being told that Kenzie had been killed or having Emilie and Nancy crying on my bed with me, or those late night text messages from Emilie or Nancy saying “I miss her” or the endless text messages I received that day from random people telling me they were sorry about kenzie or if I think about the day before the viewing I will start crying immediately. It never fails. It’s amazing how one day all communication can be cut off without warning. I wonder if finding out about death in the old days was easier because there wasn’t texting and everything all the time so people wouldn’t notice the sudden lack of contact and communication as much. The night before I was texting her and then boom.. I couldn’t write her, call her, text her, see her, or even anticipate seeing her again in the near future to tell her things. The communication was just completely severed. I almost think that was one of the hardest things was just noticing that there was no way to communicate. And there is still no way to communicate. This is an obvious fact but it’s annoying. It's amazing how vulenerable we are. It's almost 2 years after the accident and i still get upset about not being able to communicate with her. I don't think i ever realized i was vulenerable to the loss of communication.
On a different note i would like to know how many people Emilie and i told about Kenzie through the year. There were many people who would come into our room and see the pictures of makenzie on the wall and ask about her. They all probably got more information then they would like but by the end of the year all my friends could pick Makenzie out of a picture and the majority of them could give you her personality traits if you asked them. It's awesome. I can't help but wonder wheter Kenzie would be rooming with Emilie and I in our apartment next year. I feel like she would have been. Makes me wonder what would be happening differently if she was here still.
On a different note i would like to know how many people Emilie and i told about Kenzie through the year. There were many people who would come into our room and see the pictures of makenzie on the wall and ask about her. They all probably got more information then they would like but by the end of the year all my friends could pick Makenzie out of a picture and the majority of them could give you her personality traits if you asked them. It's awesome. I can't help but wonder wheter Kenzie would be rooming with Emilie and I in our apartment next year. I feel like she would have been. Makes me wonder what would be happening differently if she was here still. 