Friday, January 29, 2010

Love of Obama


So as many of you know Makenzie was not Obama's biggest fan. I just realized it's been over a year since he became president. I clearly remember our History teacher sharing his views on Obama and Makenzie laughing and agreeing. Then again, i think Catherine and myself were the only ones in the room that liked him. Whenever Obama came up in a conversation I would immediately try to defend him with the limited information i knew. Makenzie would tell me we couldn't be friends anymore. (jokingly). I remember the inauguration. Our school got to watch it live and students were split up into different rooms to watch it. Makenzie and I were both put together in the same room. We made our way to Mr. Benson's room and Makenzie was going off about how America was making a mistake. (Thank goodness it was Obama over Hillary though. She would have never stopped talking if she got it) I knew she would be talking to me the entire period. We sat down together and I remember the lights going off. Makenzie and I both were scared that some bad guy would do something or hurt Obama in some way. The memory that stands out to me was Makenzie talking the whole time (quietly) about the lady that sang with a big bow in her head. Or maybe it was a bow on her dress. Either way I am pretty sure she was talking to me but i just fell asleep. I didn't plan that but i did. When class was over Makenzie kept talking about the bow and that she didn't like the singing. She was so irritable about him becoming president but when we left i don't think she even mentioned him, only the lady with the bow.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

When do i stop?


I have started wondering within the last 3 or 4 months if people get annoyed when I bring up Makenzie. I don't want to annoy people but in everyday conversations with people i reference my friends such talking to Sam today about all the names the police have. He named po po and i said "Oh i know! Nancy calls the police the po po." Things like that. Everything i talk about with people I tend to relate to my friends. Nobody thinks anything of it if i say things about Nancy or Emilie but if i relate something to Makenzie it seems to make everything awkward. I wish it wasn't that way. I wish people wouldn't try to not bring her up around me anymore. I am okay with it now. I am used to the fact that she isn't here. I miss her like crazy but i am strong enough now not to cry at every mention of her. I like relating things to her. It makes it seem like she was just here with me not that long ago. It's something Makenzie used to do or something Makenzie used to say. It really doesn't mean we have to change the topic. I was just pointing something out. However, when i do feel sad about her now or bring her up with people in school that aren't my best friends I am thinking "are they just plain sick of hearing about Makenzie?" I don't want to annoy people but to be honest, I still think about Makenzie just as much as I did a month after she passed away. I am just not as emotional now. I also don't want people to think i have forgotten about makenzie so i do want to bring her up but at the same time i don't want to annoy people. Haha this is becoming a constant thought of mine.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

2010


The last day of December i think i mentioned Makenzie more then i have in one day in quite some time. I kept thinking that i would never see Makenzie in 2010. That new application on facebook.... My year in photos? I think that's what it's called. My friends have done it and in some of them Makenzie shows up in them. She was part of my year. She could be in my "year in photos". There isn't a chance that she will show up in it if they have it again at the end of 2010. I know i wouldn't be seeing Makenzie much this year if she really did end up doing what she had planned too. Working in Disney World for the second semester of senior year. But it still hurts knowing she isn't even going to even be in Disney World. I know she was going to return to receive her diploma with me on the very same night though. She won't be taking the diploma in her own hands. Instead it will be her mom or dad. I thought Makenzie was never part of my senior year but i remember getting a text from her the day after the seniors of 09 graduated. She said we are seniors!! I responded with "Nicole says we aren't until we enter the first day of our senior year". Makenzie responded with a "whatever, we are!." So if i go by that... Makenzie participated a few days in my Senior Year. Anyway, read her dad's blog about Makenzies 09 resolutions. It's amazing.
http://toddstocker.wordpress.com/2010/01/01/i-want-to-witness-a-miracle/