Changes

I move into college in 12 days and everything seems to be changing. I feel like i am leaving so much behind. My parents are moving into a smaller house and i HATE change. Makenzie helped me with change when i moved to Texas. She would leave little messages in my assignment books next to my messages of I HATE TX. As i pack for college i am finding more of her little notes in old assignment book and such. With my parents moving i think to myself "Makenzie will never set foot in my new house" or i think but Makenzie spent the night in my house i live in now and swam in my pool. She won't do this in my new house. The room i fall asleep in every night currently she slept in before with me. Knowing that at the new house my parents move into won't have any Makenzie related memories makes me sad. As hard as it is for me to say. Her laugh isn't as clear in my mind anymore. Her responses to things that i would say aren't prominent in my brain. It's annoying. I am moving on with life and she isn't really coming with me and i can't create new memories with her and the ones i have are fading. I changed out the pictures in my black frames above my bed yesterday. No new pictures of Makenzie made it in but one of her came out. I left the one of just me and her together. It seemed rude to take it out. So every picture is from senior year and then there is 1 from freshman year with Makenzie. Her dad's blog is no longer just dedicated to her. And with everything going on right now i feel like am being forced to leave her behind and i am no ready too. I can still share her story with everyone. Emilie and I are both bringing our Makenzie collages to college with us to hang up in our room but the pictures seem old now. I can't help but want new ones of us.