Obsessed? No... just missing her

So first off i am gonna say i am a terrible writer and i am not gonna worry about my grammer and such because it will just make me not want to write. I don't want to write anything down because i hate handwriting things soooo yeah..

I have tried several ways of coping i guess you could say with the loss of Kenz. Most of the things i do involve putting pictures together of her or getting memories together. I don't put many things up on facebook because it seems like i am the most depressed person ever and obsessed with Mak. It's my form of coping and i am doing okay.. Well at least better. I cry at least every other night but the period of time is much shorter then it used to be. I also get upset easily at the mention of her name at school.. It's almost like i want everyone to keep talking about her forever. I don't want her to be forgotten and i want to act like she is here but at the same time i want people to just stop talking about her around me.. I don't enjoy crying in front of others and somehow Nancy and Emilie manage to hold it together better then me.. They just look really sad while i sit there with tears rolling down my face.. Anyway, enough about me.

I think of new memories and thoughts everyday and i don't want to forget them so i decided to write once in a while on here.

1) Anyways the most recent thing i remembered was lunch time.. New memories make me really happy and i remembered this one yesterday. Some days she would buy a water bottle and buy that powder you poor in it like ummm.. pink lemonade? Well she found it very interesting pouring it in. She would make Nancy, Emilie, and I watch it. As she poured the pink powder in it would resemble a mushroom cloud as it entered the water... nancy, em and i never understood why this was so exciting but we didn't say anything.. Well we might have made fun of her once or twice. =] Also, she wouldn't drink the water until every little clump of powder at the bottom of the bottle was broken up... She would shake it for what seemed like a lifetime.. Prbly about a minute or so. She got into it.. I started shaking it for her once but she quickly took it back and began shaking it until her heart was content.

2) I also remembered something David told Kenzie and I. While kenzie was doing ballet moves around the choir i simply just turned and tripped over my bag.. David said you and kenzie are the most opposite people ever. This reminded me of Kenz being told she had to choreography the ballet for me when i played Glinda in the wizard of oz. She quickly realized there was no hope after our first day of practice together. The next thing i knew my ballet was cut.